Since it’s Valentine’s Day there’s no better day of the year to talk about one of the top 6 human needs ‘Love & Connection’.

For those of you who are not familiar with Anthony Robin’s Top 6 Human Needs, here is a quick run down.

1. Certainty

Which means we all like a bit of certainty, that we’re going to be safe, secure, have food on the table, a roof over our head and maybe knowing that our family is there for us when we get home, or always on the other end of a phone call. 

Too much certainty can however, be boring. When we know exactly what is going to happen next, maybe your life feels a bit like Groundhog Day… and we don’t want to know what happens at the end of a movie, we would like to enjoy the journey of the unknown.

Which brings me to the next one…

2. Uncertainty

Where we like variety, the need for adventure, new experiences, change and new stimuli which can make things exciting! 

Too much uncertainty can make people feel unstable and fearful, not knowing where the next pay cheque is coming in, whereas, others love the challenge.

3. Significance

We all like to feel important and valued. A feeling of significance can be the feeling that you’re special, in your relationship, team at work, that you’re needed and things wouldn’t be the same or would fall over without you. 

Too much importance on significance however leave some people always wanting to be in the lime light, coming across as more important than others, arrogant or swamped with people around them, because no one else is quite as good as they are!

4. Love & Connection

A strong feeling of closeness or a union with someone or something. This is definitely a top need of mine out of these top 6 human needs. I love the feeling of giving love, being love, speaking from my heart and feeling deeply connected to others. For me, nothing else beats it.  

How to get more love and connection? Read my tips below to get more Love & Connection on this Valentine’s Day.

5. Growth

This is my second top 6 human need, expanding upon your knowledge, capabilities and learning. I’m definitely a dedicated life long learner and without this in my day, my brain just doesn’t get the dose of endorphins it loves!

Too much growth, can leave you overwhelmed or give you growing pains, don’t grow too fast that you end up falling over.

6. Contribution

A sense of service and purpose, helping and supporting others. Of course I love this one too, and when I’m growing and coming from a place of love and connection, is when I feel I give back the most. The happier and more loving I am, the more I give and get back!

What top 2 needs are most important to you in your life?

Top Tips for generating more Love & Connection in your life:

• Open your heart and speak from a place of love, compassion and understanding. What most people really want deep down under everything else… is to be loved (stay tuned for my upcoming post and more on this) and typically people are always trying to do their best. Aren’t you? It might not be your very best that you’ve ever done, but given the situation, environment and what’s going on, you are doing your best, because, ya know, if you could do better, you would.
• Be fully present - it’s the best gift you can give to someone. Throw multi-tasking or multi-thinking out the window! Make the person you’re with feel like they are the most important person in your world right now. And if they’re not and you don’t want to be talking to them, that will come across in your energy so you may as well quickly take your presence elsewhere…
• Really look at the person - I like to say, ‘see straight through them’ it can be eerie in one way but quite amazing to feel it from someone else at the same time. Like they really know you, they see through the barriers, the persona you put on and can feel your true and pure essence and love you all the more for it. To do this for others, start with being inquisitive, seek to learn about them, and not jump to judge or want them to be just like you. Be curious to their points of view, experiences in the world and unique selves, ask more questions and really listen. You never know, you just might learn something and that will help fill up your Growth Human Need.
• TIP - To really see and know someone straight away helps when you really know yourself. If you’re great at self awareness and dedicated to self mastery, you’ll be great at this. 
• Be vulnerable and your real self - if you have barriers up, if you’re trying to be someone you’re not, if you’re trying to be the person you think the other person wants you to be, will like or you will impress, you’re not connected. There will be a wall.
• Which brings me to Speak Your Truth - when you do this, it’s refreshing, the other person can tell and the best thing about this is it gives permission for the other person to do the same. Of course there is a way to do this that leaves both you and them feeling good. (more on communication strategies for truthful conversations coming here soon). If you open up and share who you are, it can give a sense of safety that the other person can too and then guess what – you’re connected on a whole new realm. 
• Take your walls down, stop being scared of what others might think, and BE YOURSELF.

I hope you enjoyed learning about the Top 6 Human Needs and that my tips help you generate more love and connection in your life.

If you need help getting deeply connected with others in your life, book yourself a free strategy session with me today where I’ll show you how.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Until then, Happy Valentine’s Day!
Live your best life!

Jacqueline Pigdon BSc, The LOVE MONDAYS Expert, is an Australian rowing champion, Wealth Dynamics, Talent Dynamics and Health Dynamics Performance Consultant, a spiritual life, career and business coach, speaker, author and award-winning entrepreneur!

M: +61 (0) 447728677

E: jacqueline@jinalife.com 

Book A Free Strategy Session today!

One of the biggest questions I have for my clients when they are avoiding a conversation in fear of confrontation and therefore conflict is:

‘Why does it have to be a difficult conversation?’

If your think it will be hard chances are it will be. Because what we put out there is what we get back.

Thinking it has to be ‘hard‘ is only a thought or a deeply ingrained belief. Maybe you’ve had many of these conversations and they’ve always turned out badly.

But do they always have to be like that in the future or even right now, today?

No they don’t.

Not if you know how.

Everything is easy when you know how. Maybe you just haven’t found the strategy yet that works for you.

And how do you know you’ve overcome difficult conversations and that it has worked for you?

You’re left feeling peaceful within. You’re happy about the conversation. You walk away feeling good about it.

Would you like to have a peaceful outcome? 

Let’s break down ‘Conflict Resolution’ to just Resolution i.e. resolving an issue.

What’s an issue? To me, I believe it is anything that’s on your mind. As small or silly you might think something is and that it really ‘shouldn’t’ be bothering you, if it is… It’s something that is unresolved, something that disturbs your peace.

And until you ‘resolve’ that thing, it’s only going to hold you back from achieving bigger things in your life, reaching your goals and your potential.

An issue that needs to be resolved, something on your mind, may come and go and you might try and push it aside but it randomly or sometimes aggressively reappears.

What can you do about this?

Change your perception on it. 

See it as an opportunity to resolve it, to grow and learn. For if we don’t address and resolve things when they are a seed. Guess what happens? The issue just grows. It can grow into a giant oak tree and if and when that happens it means we can’t ignore it any longer and it takes much more work and strength to chop it down.

So start early, get onto it, don’t be afraid of sorting out a tiny issue.

HERE’S HOW

Step 1 – INTENTION

I believe our intention is huge and very powerful – what is your intention going into the conversation? I.e. what do you ultimately want to achieve?

My advice for a good intention is to have the goal of coming out of the conversation feeling good about the conversation, that your issue has been resolved and you also left the other person feeling good about it too.

Now this is quite an art and can take a bit of practice but it’s completely possible.

What I find is that if you have an issue about a particular thing with someone else, they often have an issue about it too.

So actually addressing it and resolving it, can take a load off their mind too. 

Confronting – no, you’re actually doing them and yourself a favour!

So don’t be afraid. 

Of course if you don’t have a strategy or an idea on how to do this, you will be afraid.

Step 2 – ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR PART

In any conflict resolution, I find that 9 times out of 10 each person has done or said something of value. A good point. But at the same time each person could have also done something differently or better.

So when having a conversation it’s essential that you acknowledge what the person has done right. 

Why? You’re thinking what??? But what about all the things or THE thing they did absolutely badly or how they hurt me or did wrong by me!?!?!

The reason why you acknowledge a true point they have made (and that might be an attack, even criticism of you, if it’s actually true, own it) is because then they will feel heard. i.e. They will see you were listening to them.

And when a person feels heard, they relax and calm down and are more likely to be open to listening to you. 

Step 3 – CALM CONVO’S

Keep your eye on your intention, even if the conversation is going off path and you feel like it’s getting out of control. Remember the goal!

Once they’ve calmed down and you’ve remained calm and after you’ve acknowledged what you could have done differently, be assertive and deliver your point respectfully.

When you own your own actions, acknowledge a point they have made without making excuses for it, it gives the other person permission to do the same.

They come down from being defensive and/or aggressive and meet you at where you are.

MY INSPIRATION?

I was inspired to write about this today after seeing the above featured image. I know there are peaceful ways to both live and communicate in this world, and personally I like to operate this way 99% of the time, but I also know there is power and opportunity for growth, in our frustrations. The benefits can sometimes seem hidden within, but if we look for them, we so often find the answers to our biggest questions. 

This is just a high level quick snapshot on one strategy on how you can address issues by confronting them without conflict.

If you would like help on how to prepare for and confront a specific issue with someone in your life that is leaving you avoiding them or a conversation, or you’re having conversations with them that leave you feeling mad, upset, uneasy, powerless of change and/or really frustrated, then please feel free to get in touch with me and my team. 

I look forward to the opportunity to teach you how to have empowering conversations that not only resolve your issues but leave you and the other person feeling great! 

 Jacqueline Pigdon, is an Australian rowing champion, international spiritual life and business coach, Wealth and Talent Dynamics consultant, author, speaker and award winning entrepreneur!

 Become the Champion in your  life and business that you know you can be!

We can be creatures of habit, we can easily get set in our ways and I fully support setting yourself up with a recipe for success  (routine or schedule) that works for you. ‘If it’s not broken then don’t fix it!’ 

However sometimes this can hold us back and we can fall victim to creating the same day as yesterday… 

When is this a problem? When we’re looking or waiting for something to change. 

Now if you’ve been trying to reach a goal or attract something significant into your life for a long time, you may well be thinking that something ‘big’ has to change.

But it doesn’t always have to be this way, sometimes the smallest of things can dramatically shift your situation.

~ YOUR SPECIAL INVITATION ~

New Path Exercise – I invite you to join me for a fun experiment (I love experiments that show us just how powerful our own thoughts, decisions and intentions are – more of these to come in my future videos). This excises consists of making simple changes in your routine to shake things up that create instant change.

CAN YOU RELATE TO THIS COMMON SCENARIO…

You get up at approximately the same time each day. you eat the same breakfast, you order the exact same coffee or morning drink at the same coffee shop, you drive along the same route to work, you have the same kind of day at work, you leave work at roughly the same time every day, you travel home on the exact same route, have the same types of conversations at home, watch the same TV shows or spend hours on social media before you go to bed at about the same time each night.

This can cause you to create the same day as yesterday… So if you’re not 100% happy with the days you are creating, or you’re looking for change, try this fun and easy exercise for 1 day to spice things up and take yourself on a new and different path. 

Get up at a different time, eat a different breakfast, order a different morning drink, travel on a new or different path to work, engage in conversations with new people and/or on different topics and travel on another route on your way home. Keep your eyes out for new and different things that surface on this new day path and share with me what showed up! You just might be surprised!

I hope you enjoyed my video I filmed on the beautiful Greek Island of Corfu and I look forward to bringing new videos your way soon!

Live Your Best Life

Jacqueline Pigdon, The LOVE MONDAYS Expert is an Australian rowing champion, a spiritual life & career coach, author and award winning entrepreneur! Beginning her career in corporate IT and as an elite sports person she knows firsthand how to achieve goals and make a successful and fulfilling career transition. Jacqueline has dedicated her life to helping other women all around the world do the same and create a career and life they love!

T: +61447728677
E: jacqueline@jinalife.com
www.lovemondaysnow.com

To get a copy of Jacqueline’s BOOK ‘Love Mondays Now – 5 Steps to a career & life you love CLICK HERE!

‘Blowing their Top’?

People who get mad a lot, particularly over little things, are really telling us they feel out of control in some aspect of their life. Generally the small things they appear to be getting mad at, aren’t the real reasons they are mad.

Firstly, always check in and listen to what the person is saying in case there is a very valid point about you, that you can address and change to help the situation.

However, here we’re talking about common occurrences of yelling and/or getting upset or frustrated at the little things. You have probably experienced someone like this in either your personal or professional life.

So these tips can be applied both at work or home – to anyone who dares to yell at you! 

6 TOP TIPS!

1. Stay calm

Your heart rate might start to race when someone is yelling at you, but it’s important to stay calm on the inside and BREATH. 

Work on calming down your inner self and remain looking calm on the outside. 

Keep your face and body relaxed. 

Chances are they are letting loose i.e. raving on and on about something – which actually gives you TIME to work on being calm before you need to respond! :-) 

2. Don’t be or show that you’re afraid!

If you can see a “mad manager” walking around your office or they are directly yelling at you – don’t be afraid. (Unless you fear physical violence then best step away fast!) Certainly don’t coward down to a person who is yelling. They are only emotions and they OWN their emotions, don’t allow them to put their emotions onto you.

3. Ask intelligent questions.

For example in a confident and caring way, ask with a concerned look on your face that also says – I know you’re really upset but I know I’m not the deep cause of your anger and I’m not going to ‘buy into’ this behaviour of yours or think for a second it’s all my fault.

“Is everything is ok?”

This can show, if done correctly, that you can see the real reason why they are getting mad, is NOT what they’re blowing up about. This is your chance to show your emotional intelligence and insight.

4. Never get mad back.

People might push your buttons and if you do get mad, well that is for another topic of discussion (i.e. Finding your own deeper causes of what is upsetting YOU! Contact me today if you need help with this.) 

So never get mad back, because this just turns into a fight and you have raised your voice, volume and emotions to match theirs. Instead as tip #1 stay calm and strong so they have to come down and match your calm state. 

If a person is lashing out, what they really need in that moment is love, understanding and care. For that person is upset and feeling out of control…. and that’s not nice. 

* It doesn’t mean we allow them to take it out on us, but that we know it’s not a nice place for anyone to be in, and we wouldn’t ever wish it on others. 

5. Don’t criticise them or put them down.

We are not here to judge others, but we do teach others how to communicate with us.

You could ask (and this is my personal example I used with someone, many years ago, who used to yell at me, but not anymore!) in a calm voice:

“Why are you yelling?”

The person responded yelling at the top of their voice:

“I’M NOT YELLING!!!”

* Quickly realising yelling that statement was a bit silly and calmed right down instantly :-) 

With this question, the person will think about the real reason why they are so mad or frustrated, and not actually be able to answer this question and often they walk away or calm down. The reason for this is because, more often than not it’s either: 

1. Nothing to do with what they are yelling about or, 

2. It’s too private or difficult for them to share. 

So often in the workplace, the underlying cause won’t generally have a lot to do with you. It’s something personal or other work issues within them. Or if it does have something to do with you, it goes much, much deeper…. and they can’t seem to speak to you about it in a way that they think will gain a successful resolution. It’s best to help them try, by creating an open and safe environment to communicate with you in.

6. Be assertive

Here is a great example of a way you can respond any time anyone is yelling at you, at work or at home – whatever the topic or situation:

“I would really like to talk to you about this issue, but not when you’re yelling at me, so perhaps you can calm down now and we can discuss it in a professional and/or nice way, or let me know if and when you’re ready to talk to me calmly in the future.”

Here you are open and willing to talk, just not in that way. 

Taking this approach using the 6 tips above, helps communicate to the person yelling, that you’re not someone to be yelled at or someone they can take their frustrations out on. 

Remember only 7% of our communication comes from the words we use, so embrace the message you want to deliver with your entire body language and inner thoughts and intentions of a positive outcome.

All the best in teaching others that you are not someone to be yelled at! 

Try it out for yourself if and when you need to, and let me know how you get on! I would love to hear from you. 

Thanks for reading and until next time… 

Live Your Best Life!

Jacqueline Pigdon, The LOVE MONDAYS Expert is an Australian rowing champion, a spiritual life & career coach, author and award winning entrepreneur! Beginning her career in corporate IT and as an elite sports person she knows firsthand how to achieve goals and make a successful and fulfilling career transition. Jacqueline has dedicated her life to helping other women all around the world do the same and create a career and life they love!

T: +61447728677
E: jacqueline@jinalife.com
www.lovemondaysnow.com

To get a copy of Jacqueline’s BOOK ‘Love Mondays Now – 5 Steps to a career & life you love CLICK HERE!

Happy New Year for 2015!

Here is my new January video tip to help you plan for 2015!

Now that January is here it’s a fun and exciting time to make plans for the year ahead. If you’re anything like me, I like to set an annual mission, one BIG thing that I’m going to achieve and when I achieve that I will have had an incredible year.

Then I set 2 or 3 specific goals and the rest goes to being flow!

To me this means having fun and navigating myself throughout the year learning, adjusting as I go and making the most of all the opportunities that surface that I don’t yet know about.

To do this successfully you need space and some flexibility. I know that even by the time February and March rolls around I will have learnt and grown and perhaps even see things very differently than I do right now.

Situations change… they can change at any moment good or bad (and of course bad is only the way you see things. If they do feel bad don’t forget to look for the lesson and seed of opportunity in the challenging period or situation you find yourself in).

What I’m doing this January that’s new and fun in regards to planning out my year ahead is studying up on the book ‘Your Personal Horoscope 2015′ by Joseph Polansky. Now I’ve never done this before because here in our coaching programs we delve much deeper into astrology and spirituality that I haven’t bothered with generic astrology.

Until now….

In 2014 I just happened to link way too many situations that perfectly collided with what the planets were doing and what was happening both in my life and the lives of others around me.

In particular the lunar and solar eclipses were so profound in initiating change they literally blew me away as to what happened at those times.

So this year, I’m looking ahead and I’m being super proactive in terms of what’s coming up and happening in the solar system.

I recommend grabbing yourself a copy of this book too (or one similar), checking your sun sign reading and observe the uncanny coincidences that happen. Or like me, even plan in accordance to the best times of the year to do certain things and see how things turn out!

Here are a few dates to be aware of:

• Solar Eclipse – 20th March 2015
• Lunar Eclipse – 4th April 2015
• Solar Eclipse – 13th September 2015
• Lunar Eclipse – 28th September 2015

Let me know in the comments below if you’ve experienced any interesting coincidences in regards to astrology, the moons or planets too!

Live Your Best Life

Jacqueline Pigdon, The LOVE MONDAYS Expert is an Australian rowing champion, a spiritual life & career coach, author and award winning entrepreneur! Beginning her career in corporate IT and as an elite sports person she knows firsthand how to achieve goals and make a successful and fulfilling career transition. Jacqueline has dedicated her life to helping other women all around the world do the same and create a career and life they love!

T: +61447728677
E: jacqueline@jinalife.com
www.lovemondaysnow.com

To get a copy of Jacqueline’s BOOK ‘Love Mondays Now – 5 Steps to a career & life you love CLICK HERE!

Watch my video from the beautiful ski fields at Falls Creek Australia.

HOW TO DETERMINE IF YOU’VE REALLY HAD ENOUGH

Perhaps you have been playing a sport for many years and seem to have lost the fun or drive you once had for it.

Or you think you’ve had enough of your current job, career or business but are not 100% sure you’re ready to let it go.

Maybe you’re thinking this same thing about your relationship…

Now there are definitely times in our lives when we have really had enough and it’s time to ‘hang up the boots’ but if we once had such love, drive and fun doing something and it’s suddenly or even slowly diminished chances are there’s simply something missing.

Here are 2 key factors for you to consider:

1. You’re no longer growing, either you’ve achieved everything you want to in a sport or your business, or you just don’t have any new and inspiring goals to strive for. Perhaps your relationship is stagnant because you’re not moving forward together towards something important or meaningful.

2. It’s time to get some outside help either from an expert or coach to help you re-ignite the love, energy and drive you once had.

What I experienced while skiing at Falls Creek Victoria, Australia was the feeling that I’d had enough. I have always had a great love for skiing and my first day back on this trip was after a long break so I spent it ‘finding my feet’. The following day I ventured onto a more difficult run and again I did this on the third day.

But after that I’d had enough and I felt like I could really just hang up my boots. I knew there was more to it and luckily enough my fellow skiing buddies convinced me I should have a lesson.

Now at first I was reluctant, as all the ski instructors I’d had in Australia, New Zealand and Europe simply took me way out of my comfort zone and skiing down double black runs and off the edges of scary mountain cliffs. At this stage in my life I really didn’t want to risk get injured or do it simply to say I’ve conquered the mountain.

However I decided to go along and ended up having an entirely different experience. This skiing instructor took us on a green beginner slope AND TAUGHT US expert technique. How to roll my ankles and knees properly, and how to more effectively distribute my weight.

After this one little lesson I was on fire! I skied all day long and you couldn’t get me off the slopes I was having THE BEST time!

WHY?

Because I was growing, I had something to work on to improve myself. If we’re not growing, learning or helping others, days can quickly and easily become mundane and boring (even at a luxurious ski resort!) and we can feel like quitting.

Have you ever had this type experience? Are you wondering right now in your life if you’ve really had enough of something you used to love? Please leave a comment below I would love to hear from you!

If you liked this video please share it with your friends.

Stay tuned until next time where I share ’3 Tips on how to make things happen!’

Live Your Best Life!

Jacqueline Pigdon ~ Spiritual Life, Career & Business Coach

To get a copy of my book Love Mondays Now – 5 Steps to a career and life you love CLICK HERE!